There’s this thing that I want to talk to you guys about… It’s something that we all do, me included. This thing isn’t healthy to do on the daily, it doesn’t help us to achieve our goals, it wastes time, it makes us feel like crap, highly unmotivated, frustrated and crabby. But we all. do. it!!! WHY???
This BIG thing that I’m talking about is… NUMBING.
We all do it. Yes YOU, even if YOU don’t think this pertains to YOU, it DOES! Trust me!
Here are some examples of my numbing tactics:
- scrolling my phone/laptop for hours
- avoiding doing dishes, laundry, dinner
- keeping myself busy with useless stuff, just to be busy
- driving all over so I don’t have to sit at home and look at/deal with the mess
- spending money, shopping, retail therapy, whatever you want to call it
- getting caught up in gossip which I absolutely loathe!!! It’s one of the things that I can actually say that I HATE, and hate is a strong word.
- wanting to get away, go on a vacation!
- over eating
- making other people’s problems my own so I can focus on helping them, instead of focusing on what I’m avoiding
Can you relate to these? Everyone numbs a little differently. Some may binge watch shows, exercise constantly, focus too much on their diet to the point of being unhealthy, work excessively, constantly be racing from one place to the next, become addicted to smoking, drinking or drugs. Or maybe you’re on the other end of the spectrum and you never say no and are always helping everyone else out, never taking time for yourself. You give all your energy to others and keep yourself so busy so you don’t have to think about what you actually need deep down. You worry about everyone else’s problems, illnesses and hardships. I don’t mean that you shouldn’t care for others, of course you should! But.. you don’t have to take on EVERYONE’S stuff ALL. THE. TIME.
So why do we do this?
The simple answer is this: because we don’t want to feel.
We want to push feelings and fears away. We want to live on top our whole lives, we don’t want to be down in the dumps. Who wants to feel like crap and feel those hard emotions? We think if we cover them up with something we won’t have to bother with them… WRONG. They don’t leave, and they will continue to RUN. YOUR. LIFE. until you decide that you are READY- to just SIT and FEEL, and ask yourself what it is that you’re trying to avoid/feel. Then ask yourself what you need in order to get through this thing that is bothering you, and then GO and DO that thing!
I want to give you a few quick examples of reasons why I numb. I numb because of bills, because of life situations, because I’m not achieving my goals as fast as I would like, because being a Mom is always a challenge and because there are projects that I want to be done but they won’t finish themselves.
You know something tho… the best way to get through something is THROUGH it, not around it! So face those fears head on- stop numbing them out! FEEL all those FEELINGS that you have built up inside. Let them out! Cry, laugh, jump around, write things down, whatever you gotta do! You will feel more content and happy when you start doing this. It won’t be easy, but it WILL be worth it!!
First off I want to thank everyone for all the kind comments on yesterday’s post! It’s always a little nerve wracking to be so vulnerable, but to me it was worth it. I had a couple people reach out and it makes me happy to know someone else is going to be on a path to finding their joy soon!
I had a conversation recently where I felt like I was trying to explain myself, and I couldn’t get the right words out. So this has been bothering me because I felt like I didn’t get the chance to say what I wanted to say. I have heard a few people make comments, not even directly to me, but through the grape vine. They question my Continue Reading…
Hi everyone! I hope you are all having a happy Wednesday! I know I have said this before, but you guys- I really want more of you on board with me! I have been on the other side- almost my whole life, but I have converted, FINALLY! I am talking about our wonderful, cold, snowy, beautiful, serene, fun, magical, breathtaking, white, cozy, exhilarating, U.P. winters!!! I am sure if I think longer I can come up with many more words! Haha! But I am really serious about this! I am a lover of winter!! Here’s the thing, I could come up with a list of the same, or even quadruple the amount of negative words to describe winter in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, but.. where will that get me? I’m sure I would be depressed like the past 10-15 years of my life when I had those negative words running through my mind on repeat every time winter rolled around. Let me just take you back to the place where I was for way too long (also, I didn’t only struggle in the winter, it was year round, but winters being the worst). Being depressed for me looked a lot like hibernating, eating comfort foods as fast as I could shove them in my mouth, feeling useless, crabby, sad, miserable, negative, discontent, no confidence, no ambition, spending money excessively, going through the motions, living in a bubble (where everything around me was happening but it was all kind of muffled and muted, like I was there, but not there)… it’s a terrible place to be.. and I never want to go back.. and wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But.. I know a lot of people out there are still suffering through their lives, instead of LIVING them to the fullest! I got to a point this past fall where I was so miserable. I couldn’t even do the simplest everyday task. It was so. much. work. I felt as if everyday I was swimming with my nose just a little above water, treading that water, trying to stay afloat. And I thought to myself many times over, “Is this going to be my life? Am I going to have to try to hold on by the tiniest thread until I make it to the end? Just somehow stay afloat until it’s my time to go?” Thinking these thoughts was extremely discomforting, and sucked all the life right out of me. I didn’t know how I was going to do it, and I questioned my point for being on this earth if this was the only thing I had to do- JUST. STAY. ALIVE.
So, this is where I was at when, one night I was scrolling Facebook and happened upon a video that really resonated with me. I thought about it for the next couple days and wanted to reach out, but I was scared that it was another thing that wouldn’t work. Nervous that people would ask, “So, do you think it’s working?” like I had heard so many times before. But… I was so desperate! I couldn’t live this way for one more minute- so I shakily picked up the phone and reached out (also.. I didn’t tell a soul- I didn’t need the questions or expectations from anyone). That one thing, right there, is one of the absolute, most life changing things I have ever done in my entire life! I am not one bit exaggerating when I say life changing! I mean it 300%! I am not just living anymore- I am enjoying my life so much, way more than I ever even dreamed possible! I find so much joy in the smallest things daily! I even waited til I was a month in before saying anything to my husband. I didn’t want to tell him, I wanted HIM to notice for himself!! So I asked him, “Have you noticed anything about me lately?” And he instantly replied, “You are happy?!” I could have jumped to the moon and back when I heard him say those words!! I really was! I was, and I still am so happy!! This was SO HUGE for me because the whole time I have been with him (about 9 years), I have had so many ups and downs and always felt like he was my rock, and would dump all my stuff on him. So finally I feel like I am pulling my own weight and it feels so good!! Is everyday perfect? No, absolutely not. It is the mindset, how you choose to look at each and everything that comes your way! I never knew that I could laugh so much, smile so much, cry so much (and yes, emotions are good! it feels SO AMAZING to not hold back emotions), and just find so much JOY in life! Please, please, please, for your own sake- if you are feeling the way I was for far too long, reach out to me and I will hook you up with the woman who helped me change my life! I am not doing this to try to drum up business for her, I am doing this because I would LOVE if everyone could experience this joy and realize how great life can truly be, even if this is our temporary home, I believe we are allowed to have a wonderful and fulfilling life! Feel free to message me on Instagram if you are a more private person, the way I was when I signed up.
One more thing, don’t think that you are crazy! There are so many people going thru similar things as you, and others that are feeling “good enough” and can’t admit that they need help. You will never change unless YOU are ready, and YOU have to make the choice! Nobody will do it for you! And let me tell you, I LOVE LOVE LOVE enjoying life everyday rather than just making it through! You don’t need to toughen up and get through it, that doesn’t work! Life is so messy and beautiful and crazy and wonderful all at the same time!! Also, one more thing.. I have had people make comments to me saying that they don’t feel like they are doing that bad yet, compared to someone else… let me tell you, STOP COMPARING! What is it going to take for you?! Do you have to completely lose your mind before you finally give in and get help?! Stop being just fine! There is not a certain point that you have to get to, no medals being handed out to whoever is the strongest and can hold out the longest! Just surrender and go get help! I promise you won’t regret it!!
Finally, at age 27, I am thoroughly enjoying our winter wonderland, instead of wishing that I lived elsewhere! My all time favorite thing to do in the winter is skate ski! It makes me feel so alive! The ski trails are so beautiful blanketed in sparkly, white snow! I love the fresh, crisp air and how it makes me feel strong and happy and ready to take on whatever is next in my day! If you haven’t tried it, GO!! It may take a bit to get the hang of, because it is a lot of balancing, but when you do, it’s so, so much fun!! I also enjoy downhill skiing (although it’s harder to fit in with kiddos), snow shoeing, taking my kids sledding, fitness classes, home decorating, crafting, taking sauna’s, drinking hot chocolate and cozying up in a fuzzy blanket on the lazyboy! What is your winter thing? If you are gonna live in this beautiful place, with the most unpredictable weather and the longest winters- you have to find something that you really enjoy! So what is it?!
P.S. If this post didn’t interest you, check back soon for all things colorful, patterned and home related!! Have a wonderful day!!
I wanted to write a little post to let you guys all know a bit more about me! These aren’t necessarily the most important things, but just little tidbits that I would like to share, and some things that Continue Reading…
We still have snow sooooo.. I had to post some snowy pics from a couple years ago! Hope it’s not too early for all these snow pics! Haha!
The other day I was watching some Pentatonix Christmas music videos on Youtube and I forgot how talented they are!! Seriously- how do they make all that music with no instruments?! It blows my mind! I love their Christmas songs, they are so pretty I honestly get emotional listening to some of them because they are so beautiful!
I went to the gym again this morning and it feels so, so good! I’m so excited to get back into the groove of working out again!
Hope you all have a great day!