I wanted to share some photos from our baby girl’s Golden Birthday! We ended up celebrating her birthday 3 weeks after her actual birthday.. sometimes LIFE happens guys.
I love decorating and making things pretty, so you can imagine how much I enjoy PARTIES!! I have loved parties since I was a little girl! I remember going all out decorating with streamers and balloons for my siblings and parents birthdays! It has always been so much fun for me! One time (or maybe even a few times) I made a cake for my Mom’s birthday. At the time I hadn’t quite mastered the skill of baking… I remember the poor, chocolate cake looking more like pannukakku, and tasting a little like it too. Cringe! I tried so hard, and I’m glad I didn’t give up (and that my mom allowed me to keep “wasting” ingredients so that I could learn) because today baking is one of my favorite things to do! It has improved too, so don’t be scared to come over for coffee and bakery! Haha!
My mom always made our Birthday’s special by making us a fun birthday cake! This was back before there was Pinterest, and she had a little cake book that we could choose a cake from. I remember it was always so hard to pick! So thank you Mom for always making our Birthday’s special.. and sorry for all those terrible birthday cakes that I made for you, that you had to choke down and pretend it was delicious!!
A little tip for any of you who may get stressed or overwhelmed easy, but you still love to throw parties: split up some of the work for the party into a couple days! This is a life saver for me! I remember Vernon’s 1st Birthday party and I spent the entire day- up until the guests arrived, preparing for this party. To be honest, I was exhausted! I had to put a smile on my face tho, and act like it was all good! I have noticed if I try to fit it all in, the day of the party.. I am a crab and a stress ball and that’s no way to be at a party! So, what works for me is- I make the cake the day before and then frost it the day of the party. That’s a huge time saver and there’s not so many dishes to wash in one day also! I try to clean the day before, so then the day of the party you can just do touch ups. The rest (decorating) I usually do the day of.
Rosie didn’t look too thrilled when we were singing Happy Birthday to her! She wasn’t too sure about all the attention! Haha! I don’t know if all the commotion was a little too much or what, but later, after the majority of the people had left she was like an energizer bunny! Running around, laughing and having a good time! Or maybe it was the sugar?! Or maybe she takes after her Mother. I tend to start shutting down sometimes with too big of crowds of people I know. I definitely do better in smaller groups, that’s when I really come to life! Anyways, it was a fun, little party and I thoroughly enjoyed making her cake! Anything with unicorns and rainbows has to be fun, right?!
Happy 2nd Birthday Rosie! I can’t believe that our little preemie is 2 already! Crazy to think that you were just over 2 lbs when you came into this world! I haven’t shared this part of my life with the world, but today I’m going to share a little piece of it. I can hardly see through the tears as I am typing this.. it brings back so many memories and emotions.
I remember the first time I held you.. you were 6 days old. The nurse came in and said, do you want to kangaroo? (which means you hold your baby skin to skin on your chest). I was so surprised because I hadn’t held you yet and nobody said that it was okay for me too. I immediately said YES! My whole body started shaking and the cold sweats came on, sitting in that recliner in the NICU. You were so tiny and all hooked up to wires and cords. I was so nervous. The kind nurses told me, “Relax Mama, you won’t break her, it’s okay.” That helped a little.. but I was still very stiff and hardly moved a muscle for the whole hour that your tiny, little body laid on me, snuggled right up close to my neck. You were so tiny and I couldn’t believe this little miracle that YOU, so tiny, but such a fighter, were brought into this world and thriving, even though you arrived 3 months too early. I remember looking at your tiny little fingers.. and your little arms. Your arm was the size of my finger, wrapped around my neck. It’s really amazing to see an arm so small! I just gazed at you the entire hour and tried to soak in all of you, all snuggled up on my chest. You sure loved your Mommy. The whole time you were laying on me, you were so relaxed and snoozing away that you dropped your oxygen levels a few times; so relaxed that you kept forgetting that you still had to breathe. You thought all you had to do was snuggle! Babies know who their Mama’s are right from the beginning. That was such a special moment for me. I’m so happy that you still like to snuggle with your Mama! I love you Rosie!
You have been sweet and spunky since day 1! I love all your chuckles and belly laughs. I hope you will always be a Mama’s girl, even tho sometimes I need a little break, I really do LOVE IT! I love that you love shoes and clothes at such a young age! I love all the words that you are learning by the day, and your little personality. I love your strawberry blonde hair and those big, beautiful, light blue eyes you have! You have forever changed our lives for the better and we could never imagine a day without our little Munchie! We love you babes!
There’s this thing that I want to talk to you guys about… It’s something that we all do, me included. This thing isn’t healthy to do on the daily, it doesn’t help us to achieve our goals, it wastes time, it makes us feel like crap, highly unmotivated, frustrated and crabby. But we all. do. it!!! WHY???
This BIG thing that I’m talking about is… NUMBING.
We all do it. Yes YOU, even if YOU don’t think this pertains to YOU, it DOES! Trust me! We are EXPERTS at numbing!
Here are some examples of my numbing tactics:
- scrolling my phone/laptop for hours
- avoiding doing dishes, laundry, dinner
- keeping myself busy with useless stuff, just to be busy
- driving all over so I don’t have to sit at home and look at/deal with the mess
- spending money, shopping, retail therapy, whatever you want to call it
- getting caught up in gossip which I absolutely loathe!!! It’s one of the things that I can actually say that I HATE, and hate is a strong word.
- wanting to get away, go on a vacation!
- over eating
- making other people’s problems my own so I can focus on helping them, instead of focusing on what I’m avoiding
Can you relate to these? Everyone numbs a little differently. Some may binge watch shows, exercise constantly, focus too much on their diet to the point of being unhealthy, work excessively, constantly be racing from one place to the next, become addicted to smoking, drinking or drugs. Or maybe you’re on the other end of the spectrum and you never say no and are always helping everyone else out, never taking time for yourself. You give all your energy to others and keep yourself so busy so you don’t have to think about what you actually need deep down. You worry about everyone else’s problems, illnesses and hardships. I don’t mean that you shouldn’t care for others, of course you should! But.. you don’t have to take on EVERYONE’S stuff ALL. THE. TIME.
So why do we do this?
The simple answer is this: because we don’t want to feel.
We want to push feelings and fears away. We want to live on top our whole lives, we don’t want to be down in the dumps. Who wants to feel like crap and feel those hard emotions? We think if we cover them up with something we won’t have to bother with them… WRONG. They don’t leave, and they will continue to RUN. YOUR. LIFE. until you decide that you are READY- to just SIT and FEEL, and ask yourself what it is that you’re trying to avoid/feel. Then ask yourself what you need in order to get through this thing that is bothering you, and then GO and DO that thing!
I want to give you a few quick examples of reasons why I numb. I numb because of bills, because of life situations, because I’m not achieving my goals as fast as I would like, because being a Mom is always a challenge and because there are projects that I want to be done but they won’t finish themselves.
You know something tho… the best way to get through something is THROUGH it, not around it! So face those fears head on- stop numbing them out! FEEL all those FEELINGS that you have built up inside. Let them out! Cry, laugh, jump around, write things down, whatever you gotta do! You will feel more content and happy when you start doing this. It won’t be easy, but it WILL be worth it!!
There has been something on my mind lately that I need to get off my chest… don’t worry, it’s not deep and mushy or anything! Here it is- I follow a lot of bloggers and there are quite a few, very talented ones who kill it in home design and styling! Just seeing this and knowing this makes me a little apprehensive Continue Reading…
First off I want to thank everyone for all the kind comments on yesterday’s post! It’s always a little nerve wracking to be so vulnerable, but to me it was worth it. I had a couple people reach out and it makes me happy to know someone else is going to be on a path to finding their joy soon!
I had a conversation recently where I felt like I was trying to explain myself, and I couldn’t get the right words out. So this has been bothering me because I felt like I didn’t get the chance to say what I wanted to say. I have heard a few people make comments, not even directly to me, but through the grape vine. They question my Continue Reading…
Hi everyone! I hope you are all having a happy Wednesday! I know I have said this before, but you guys- I really want more of you on board with me! I have been on the other side- almost my whole life, but I have converted, FINALLY! I am talking about our wonderful, cold, snowy, beautiful, serene, fun, magical, breathtaking, white, cozy, exhilarating, U.P. winters!!! I am sure if I think longer I can come up with many more words! Haha! But I am really serious about this! I am a lover of winter!! Here’s the thing, I could come up with a list of the same, or even quadruple the amount of negative words to describe winter in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, but.. where will that get me? I’m sure I would be depressed like the past 10-15 years of my life when I had those negative words running through my mind on repeat every time winter rolled around. Let me just take you back to the place where I was for way too long (also, I didn’t only struggle in the winter, it was year round, but winters being the worst). Being depressed for me looked a lot like hibernating, eating comfort foods as fast as I could shove them in my mouth, feeling useless, crabby, sad, miserable, negative, discontent, no confidence, no ambition, spending money excessively, going through the motions, living in a bubble (where everything around me was happening but it was all kind of muffled and muted, like I was there, but not there)… it’s a terrible place to be.. and I never want to go back.. and wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But.. I know a lot of people out there are still suffering through their lives, instead of LIVING them to the fullest! I got to a point this past fall where I was so miserable. I couldn’t even do the simplest everyday task. It was so. much. work. I felt as if everyday I was swimming with my nose just a little above water, treading that water, trying to stay afloat. And I thought to myself many times over, “Is this going to be my life? Am I going to have to try to hold on by the tiniest thread until I make it to the end? Just somehow stay afloat until it’s my time to go?” Thinking these thoughts was extremely discomforting, and sucked all the life right out of me. I didn’t know how I was going to do it, and I questioned my point for being on this earth if this was the only thing I had to do- JUST. STAY. ALIVE.
So, this is where I was at when, one night I was scrolling Facebook and happened upon a video that really resonated with me. I thought about it for the next couple days and wanted to reach out, but I was scared that it was another thing that wouldn’t work. Nervous that people would ask, “So, do you think it’s working?” like I had heard so many times before. But… I was so desperate! I couldn’t live this way for one more minute- so I shakily picked up the phone and reached out (also.. I didn’t tell a soul- I didn’t need the questions or expectations from anyone). That one thing, right there, is one of the absolute, most life changing things I have ever done in my entire life! I am not one bit exaggerating when I say life changing! I mean it 300%! I am not just living anymore- I am enjoying my life so much, way more than I ever even dreamed possible! I find so much joy in the smallest things daily! I even waited til I was a month in before saying anything to my husband. I didn’t want to tell him, I wanted HIM to notice for himself!! So I asked him, “Have you noticed anything about me lately?” And he instantly replied, “You are happy?!” I could have jumped to the moon and back when I heard him say those words!! I really was! I was, and I still am so happy!! This was SO HUGE for me because the whole time I have been with him (about 9 years), I have had so many ups and downs and always felt like he was my rock, and would dump all my stuff on him. So finally I feel like I am pulling my own weight and it feels so good!! Is everyday perfect? No, absolutely not. It is the mindset, how you choose to look at each and everything that comes your way! I never knew that I could laugh so much, smile so much, cry so much (and yes, emotions are good! it feels SO AMAZING to not hold back emotions), and just find so much JOY in life! Please, please, please, for your own sake- if you are feeling the way I was for far too long, reach out to me and I will hook you up with the woman who helped me change my life! I am not doing this to try to drum up business for her, I am doing this because I would LOVE if everyone could experience this joy and realize how great life can truly be, even if this is our temporary home, I believe we are allowed to have a wonderful and fulfilling life! Feel free to message me on Instagram if you are a more private person, the way I was when I signed up.
One more thing, don’t think that you are crazy! There are so many people going thru similar things as you, and others that are feeling “good enough” and can’t admit that they need help. You will never change unless YOU are ready, and YOU have to make the choice! Nobody will do it for you! And let me tell you, I LOVE LOVE LOVE enjoying life everyday rather than just making it through! You don’t need to toughen up and get through it, that doesn’t work! Life is so messy and beautiful and crazy and wonderful all at the same time!! Also, one more thing.. I have had people make comments to me saying that they don’t feel like they are doing that bad yet, compared to someone else… let me tell you, STOP COMPARING! What is it going to take for you?! Do you have to completely lose your mind before you finally give in and get help?! Stop being just fine! There is not a certain point that you have to get to, no medals being handed out to whoever is the strongest and can hold out the longest! Just surrender and go get help! I promise you won’t regret it!!
Finally, at age 27, I am thoroughly enjoying our winter wonderland, instead of wishing that I lived elsewhere! My all time favorite thing to do in the winter is skate ski! It makes me feel so alive! The ski trails are so beautiful blanketed in sparkly, white snow! I love the fresh, crisp air and how it makes me feel strong and happy and ready to take on whatever is next in my day! If you haven’t tried it, GO!! It may take a bit to get the hang of, because it is a lot of balancing, but when you do, it’s so, so much fun!! I also enjoy downhill skiing (although it’s harder to fit in with kiddos), snow shoeing, taking my kids sledding, fitness classes, home decorating, crafting, taking sauna’s, drinking hot chocolate and cozying up in a fuzzy blanket on the lazyboy! What is your winter thing? If you are gonna live in this beautiful place, with the most unpredictable weather and the longest winters- you have to find something that you really enjoy! So what is it?!
P.S. If this post didn’t interest you, check back soon for all things colorful, patterned and home related!! Have a wonderful day!!